We all love our children as parents, and I firmly believe that there really is no such thing as loving them “too much”. We love our children unconditionally, and it is important to express this in a variety of ways. However, this does not mean that every way in which we express our love is in our children’s best interest. An example of this comes in the form of what is known as “helicopter parenting”, which is a term for hawking over our children in nearly every aspect of their lives.
The term was coined in the 60s by Haim Ginott in a book titled Parents & Teenagers in a reference to a helicopter figuratively hovering over your kids. There are many forms of helicopter parenting, including completing tasks for them that they are able to complete, as well as overarching into other aspects of your children’s lives that are typically monitored by teachers, coaches, and other instructors.
When this occurs, it is almost always with good intentions and out of a place of love for our children. However, doing so may also have significant negative impacts on the development of your child. When you are always there to bail your child out on tasks that you know your child is capable of doing, the concept of accountability is being thrown to the wayside. There will come a day whereas a parent, you will have no choice but to let go of some control, and you want to ensure that your child will be ready to conquer the world even when you are not there to bail them out.
The key to parenting is balance. Encourage independence, but also be there for them as a resource and a guiding figure as their independence develops. Just make sure that you are not stunting the natural flow of independence either by engaging in practices reminiscent of helicopter parents.
When your child does good things, it is important to make sure that you are not only letting them know it was good, but letting them know why it is good. In a sense, having your kids have an understanding of their own development is necessary, as it will teach them to correct their behavior as well as what they can expect from good behavior. Your praise will only push them to try and be even better in the future.
